Hello you! I’m glad you’ve stumbled on my latest post, my first in a long while. I have decided to share with you the 16 things I wish I had known before I became a Mummy. For my regular readers, a quick update, I’m still super duper tired, still trying to balance my Life as a working Mum but, most importantly, I’m still smiling, most of the time!
Truthfully, over the past few months I’ve found it hard to open up and write for various reasons, I will write more about what’s being going on in a separate post because I’ve recently come to the conclusion that I am missing out on recording some amazing memories with my Son, and usually feel a lot better in life when I open up and share how I’m feeling! This post however is a wee collection of things I just wish I had known before I became a Mummy! Can you relate? Read on and we shall see!
1. Everyone you know is a Parenting expert.
If you’re a new mum, or have ever had a child, you will know exactly what this means and how it makes you feel. I learnt very quickly that everyone wants to share the best way to do things, tips, tricks and advice with the new or expecting Mummy. In the early hormonal days the odd tip would have made me wonder what I was doing wrong, or made me feel annoyed that they thought I didn’t know something. After a while I realised everyone is a parenting expert, often quick to tell you what you should be doing but rarely telling you what you’re doing well.
Although it could occasionally be a wee bit overwhelming, if not very annoying, over time I learnt that almost everyone is trying to help, and that comes from a good and pure place. As a Mummy you will learn to trust your instincts, that you are so capable of looking after your little munchkin, that there are certain people you absolutely should take help and advise from and you will also learn that all the experts are, in the most part, trying to make your life easier!
2. You will become more tired than you thought Humanly possible
When I was pregnant, so many people told me to sleep whilst I still could that I began to inwardly scoff at them, thinking I knew better, guys, I was completely wrong. Everyone else was right, I should have rested!
A few times over the past seventeen months I recall being so tired that I felt like I didn’t have the energy to move, or even worse, get through the day. I know for sure there have been days over the past seventeen months where I felt like I hadn’t slept at all. Even though my son is fond of his full night sleep, I still sometimes feel completely exhausted, but that’s OK, and I’ve recently discovered a lovely cup of Twinings Tea Green Tea with Lemon really perks me up! Yay!
3. You will learn that Love at First sight is a true phenomenon
I just didn’t get how much a Mother loves their child until I became pregnant. I loved my little baby instantly, and that love intensified when he was first placed in my arms and every second since. True, unconditional love, what a blessing to have him in our life.
4. There will be times when you lose yourself a wee bit
I never would have been the sort of person to say ‘I need me time’ and in the early days of parenting, I thought I had it all together, I could easily take my little baby everywhere with me! I’ll be honest, it’s not nearly as easy to get about with a toddler! The odd time, I like a wee ten minute uninterrupted shower, to go to the toilet alone, or even just to drive to ASDA or Tesco’s alone! Even though I will never feel like the old me again, I don’t miss my old life, I would never change my life, but do need to learn how to look after myself too.
5. You are so much more patient, and skilled than you realised
Toddlers require tremendous levels of attention as they learn to navigate their way through life. I think the word I utter most at the moment is ‘no’ as my son tries to open every cupboard and drawer at his level. I also am engaged in a really
fun game with my son that involves him running out of our kitchen to the stairs around 2.7 million times a day. Patience MamaBear. Patience.
My patience pre-motherhood was not great, but my love for David means I am more patient in my approach with him as I want him to think of me as a calming presence in his life. As a parent we become masters of patience and multi-tasking, we become skilled in ways we never thought possible.
6. Your Expectation vs your Reality will make you laugh
I remember saying many final and bold statements to my Husband when we found out I was expecting. I’ll never use a Dummy! My child will not be given any sweet treats until they are older! I won’t ever be frustrated at my child! Oh how silly and wrong I was to think I knew it all, to think I could make decisions like these without knowing my child or his needs. We often get swept up in a whirlwind of societal pressures and unrealistic expectations, forgetting that parenting is not a competition and that every child is different. I’ve learnt to go easy on myself, making the right decisions for my son as we go along our journey together.
7. You will learn who your most faithful friends are.
I think pre-motherhood I didn’t understand that not every person who enters your life is there for life, not everyone is committed to being with you through every stage of your journey. I understand better now. I know which friends have been there for me through every step of my pregnancy and motherhood journey. I know which friends check in on me and my family daily and weekly. Life isn’t about holding grudges, it’s about finding your happiness and sharing it with those who care enough to journey with you.
8. Your priorities will change
Short and sweet, before I had my son I was selfish and focused on myself and my own needs more than I should have. Since having my son I’ve realised the true joy of helping and loving others, putting my needs secondary to those I love.
9. You will find joy in every little Milestone
I couldn’t imagine myself as the person to be so over excited by every little thing, but I am! I’m so proud of him for all his achievements, little and large!
10. Motherhood Guilt is a real thing!
I’ve discussed this in length with my good mummy friend Donna! You feel guilt for working, guilt for spending time alone, guilt that you’re not doing enough, but that comes purely out of our deep love for our children!
11. Every Baby is different and so is every Mummy
This one speaks for itself. I read everything I could about baby and child development and parenting tips before David was born. Since I met my little man when he was born I realised I had to learn from him, I had to follow his queues and take it at his pace. That’s worked a treat and helped me realise that all us Mummy’s have our own way of doing things!
12. You will never go to the toilet alone.. ever again?
Seriously though, he doesn’t like me to go to the toilet alone, he maybe feels the need to protect me? Who knows! I consider it a luxury going to to the toilet alone at work!
13. You will become an expert at communicating with your child
Within a few weeks you will be so bonded with your little one, every noise, look and mannerism will become familiar to you, and you will know what they want, need or mean, even if it does take a while to figure it all out, you’ll get there!
14. You will have a birth story that is unique
Here’s Mine! It didn’t matter how much one born every minute I watched, how many stories I listened to or what I read online, my birth story was completely unique, and if I’m honest, showed me that I can do anything if I put my mind to it!
15. You will find new interests
No really! This one was completely unexpected but I truly do enjoy family time so much and always have, but enjoy it even more so now! I’m thankful to my son for opening up new interests for me and reminding me how much I love a good walk!
16. You can do this!
On a final note, I was so self conscious and full of self doubt before I had my son, but since having him I am a wee bit more confident and now realise, If i c can do this, I can do anything!